As soon as I lost my job, I lost all desire to write or be creative (note last WordPress entry date). It’s like losing my job took away a huge part of me. I’ve started to go back to the gym, quit drinking and gone on anti-depressants and yet it seems the tiniest thing makes me cry and well basically I’m a wreck. I thought I would be okay, I thought I would at least get some bites in the fish pond. To date I have had one interview (turned down by them) and one phone call (salary too low, now wondering if I should have just sucked it up and taken it).

I did get a severance package and I am eligible for EI but that does nothing for your sense of well-being when you’ve pretty much worked full-time since you were 14. I collected student welfare once for three months in my youth, that’s about it. I’ve never collected EI. Which brings me to another point, why did they change it from Unemployment Insurance to Employment Insurance? Fact is, we’re unemployed when collecting it, did they think it would have a better ring to it? I think it’s now a misnomer. Why do government agencies think beautifying the terms will change anything. That guy is not wheel-chair bound, he’s crippled, any way you cut it, visually impaired – blind, why did mental retardation become a derogatory term, does it not denote exactly what it is, a retardation in development? Why are people so fucking hung up on labels and criticising each other that they are more concerned about terminology than important things like the thousands of Africans being killed? Anybody read up on genocide regularly?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. How about South Sudan, anyone following what’s going on over there?

And another 200 dead trying to flee the war when their boat sinks.

Still hundreds more killed. But hey, let’s not focus on that, let’s focus on cyber bullying and the one or two kids (who probably had other psychological issues beyond the bullying) that committed suicide over this issue and make THAT a huge platform of importance in this country. What the fuck?!

So you see, I feel like a total dweeb for saying, oh poor me, I lost my job and because of that am finding it difficult to write. However, there you have it. If you’re feeling kind of shitty, be thankful that you don’t live in South Sudan at the moment. Have any of us really known, starvation, poverty, war? Maybe the few gracious souls who have fought in combat overseas, that’s about it. We are so fucking entitled and self-absorbed it’s not funny and because of that I feel like a total hypocrite wining about my ‘oh poor me, I lost my job and am feeling uninspired’. Unfortunately, South Sudan and all the other conflicts do not diminish these feelings … sigh, hella lame.