Almost 50 years old and starting over … again. I’m so tired of fighting with mediocrity because I’ve just up and settled. Just this side of apathy and doing a tight-rope walk of depression. All my hopes and dreams still exist they’ve just almost faded into an ethereal state so I’m just lingering, like the mists on the water … barely there.

I was hoping that if I ever started a blog it would be borne out of enthusiasm a joie de vivre, not because I needed something that would give me a thread to the masses so I didn’t feel completely undone – but it wasn’t and I did it to stave off drinking myself into an alcoholic coma (that I would hopefully never come out of).

And the words “this is a test, this is only a test” keep reverberating through my mind. With the theme song “Is That All There Is?” playing in the background.